A new journey

It’s Friday, June 24, 1977, about 4:00 PM and I am about to embark on the most amazing journey I have ever taken. I have to admit I am scared. There’s not really much you can do to prepare for this journey. There are classes, but they only prepare you for the physical leg. Nothing can prepare you for the emotional roller coaster that will be the rest of your life. There will be laughter, joy, sadness, tears, grief and a myriad of other emotions.

I look back now and realize I was in no way ready for this journey to begin. It is the most important thing I have ever done in my life. I didn't always do it right, but I feel like I did the best I could. So now if you have time, sit back and take this little trip with me.

I guess you are probably wondering what I am talking about. Some of you may have already figured it out. Thirty-four years ago this afternoon, I gave birth to my oldest son, Thomas Swartz Jordan, III, better known to me and my family and a lot of his friends as TJ.I shared a brief trip through Ray’s life with pictures in May. Today I want to take a short photo journey through TJ’s life. My labor with TJ was long but not really too hard. Since the first of June, my bag had been packed and Tommy and I made sure the truck’s gas tank was always full. But…..needless to say the night, or early morning, I actually went into labor, the truck was empty. While we were filling up at the service station, a highway patrolman, who also happened to be a friend, pulled up beside us. He wanted to know why were out so early…I forgot to mention it was about 3:00 AM. Tommy explained I was in labor and we were headed to Elizabeth City. He asked me how close the pains were and I explained they weren’t very close at all but we had called the doctor and he told us to come on. At this time, there was no hospital or even an urgent care facility on the Outer Banks. This friend gave us a police escort to the Currituck County line and a friend of his picked us up there and led us all the way to Albemarle Hospital. What an exciting ride!

I would like to insert the hospital new-born baby picture here, but (and I’m sure TJ will be thrilled about this) I don’t have it. It was included in all the pictures I gave him. I thought I had a scanned copy on my computer, but I don’t. So I will have to start with the first picture taken of him after I brought him home. What a head of unruly black hair.

Shortly after this picture was taken his daddy carried him to Al VanCurrin’s for coffee, much to my Mama’s displeasure. It soon became a family tradition (with Ray too).

This was the first professional picture taken of TJ – taken at Rose’s in the Outer Banks Mall.

Nanny Jordan had this picture taken by Olan Mills.

Taken at a family reunion at the Community Building in Midway.

Birthday party while we were living at the Pink Shell Cottages. I think there are 8 candles on the cake.

He wore this costume for the 400th. Manteo celebration. His teacher was Mrs. Argent Spake and the festivities went on all day.

One of the original cone heads, taken on the ferry to Ocracoke.

I can see now that I have this picture out of sequence. Sorry about that. It’s too much trouble to go back and change it now, but I imagine he was about 3.

He was a preppy kid back then. Taken at Muver’s house when we visited at Thanksgiving.

A visit to Oregon Inlet and south Nags Head with Aunt Sallie Nunemaker.

We were living at the Pink Shell Cottages when this was taken. He had just been stung by a huge jellyfish. It was taken after the medicine (meat seasoning) had been applied.

First day of school – check out the long legs!

Both boys were in Scouts and they both did really well.

I have to include a “geeky” picture. He looks so studious ( maybe sleepy?).

Taken at the zoo in Maggie Valley. He really got a kick out of holding this big snake. It weighed almost as much as he did. After he passed it back to the handler, it wrapped itself around TJ’s leg and as the handler walked off to put the snake back in the box, TJ was having to hop on one foot to keep from falling.

Taken on graduation day for the fifth grade. I think this was probably his favorite teacher. All of her kids loved her.

Also taken on 5th. grade graduation day. Cori McGuinness was his best friend in elementary school. After we moved to Manns Harbor, Cori spent almost as much time at our house as he did at his.

One of the many Halloween faces. I’m glad he spent the night at his Dad’s house and I didn’t have to help clean that face.

This is my favorite Halloween costume. Patti did the makeup job. Again, I am glad he was at his dad’s house.

Science project – it worked. We had just moved to Manns Harbor.

For some reason TJ doesn’t like this picture. I think it is a very good picture of him.

There is a real big gap in pictures here. I don’t have any high school pictures of him on my computer. He has all of them. This was taken after he moved to Greenville. This is his best friend, Clayton (Doc) Holliday. He is in the Army and he and TJ are just like brothers. I believe either of them would go to the end of the earth for the other.

Taken in Libya, Africa. He worked off and on over there for 3 years laying fiber optic lines. It was a great experience for him. During this time, I saw the greatest growth in his life.

I’ve never really asked for the story behind this picture and probably don’t want to know. He is on the balcony of his apartment in Africa. I suppose it had been a looooong day!

This is TJ’s daughter, Hannah. She is probably his greatest accomplishment, thus far, in his life. We had been out to visit his Dad in Georgia, shortly after he had been diagnosed with cancer. This was taken on the Nantahala Gorge on our way home.

One more taken on the trip home from Georgia.

This is Amy, the love of his life. They were sweethearts in high school. This was taken Thanksgiving of 2009. Hannah and I spent the weekend out in Albemarle with them.

Dakota is such a beautiful horse and she knows it. She will actually pose for a picture. TJ could be the “Marlboro” man.

On Wednesday, June 16, 2010, TJ called me and invited me to Albemarle for the weekend. At first I wasn’t too excited about it. I had work to do, etc., etc. Then he told me he and Amy would really like to have me at their wedding on Saturday. SATURDAY!! Three days notice. Needless to say, I packed my bags and headed to Albemarle. It was a beautiful wedding, in their home, with just family and some friends.

Taken the morning after the wedding. The house was full of family and they cooked breakfast for us. They both love to cook and are both good cooks.

Thanksgiving, 2010 in Manns Harbor. Bonnie, Hannah and Josh – his children – cause after all, Bonnie is almost human.

TJ is a multi-talented man. Here he is in his “workshop” – the garage - working on the yarn box he gave me for Christmas last year.

This was taken on my most recent visit on Memorial Day. We had gone to the clinic to do some target practice. He is very good with a gun….me….not so good. But I did manage to hit the target a few times.

This is a good picture of all three of us. It was taken at the family reunion in Merry Hill in either 2008 or 2009.

This is one of my absolute favorite pictures of TJ. This was his first glimpse of Amy as she came down the stairs to become his wife. I’ve never seen TJ as happy as he is now. He loves Amy and loves his life with her. Things are sometimes tight for them, as with a lot of young couples. They sometimes have disagreements, as most couples do now and then. But they respect, love and cherish each other.

I hope you have enjoyed this little journey through some of TJ’s life. And TJ, I want to wish you a very Happy Birthday. It doesn’t seem like it’s been 34 years since we welcomed you into our lives. Time has really gone by so rapidly.

I guess you can tell from this post and the post I made last month about Ray, I love my boys very much. I haven’t always been the best mother, I haven’t always made the right decisions for myself or for them. I’ve tried to teach them to be responsible and kind. I didn't get them to Church as early as I should have. But I don’t think I have done such a bad job. I have to admit it's been a great journey and I feel like my journey is coming to an end, which is the natural way of things. I have a few regrets but being a mother has been the greatest part of my journey and I have two wonderful sons to thank for that.

Happy Birthday Mama

Lida Evora Overton Outlaw – My Mama

Ninety-four years today the world changed – for the better.  My Mama was born. This event didn’t make headlines in newspapers all around the world; it wasn’t earth-shattering news.  There was no television back then; she just quietly entered the world. 

She was one of 11 children.    I can only remember five of my Mama’s siblings – three sisters and two brothers.  Mama  married my Daddy, Raymond, when she was only 15 ; had her first child when she was 16 and 1/2  and had her last child when she was 31 .  Mama never had a very easy life, but you know I don’t remember hearing her complain about it.  You just took whatever live handed you and made the best of it.  Boy, wouldn’t it be nice if it was like that today?  All people do is complain….about just about everything.  She was a hard worker, worked in the fields with my Daddy, worked in a retail store in the winter, took care of the garden and all the things that go with having a garden, was a great cook, awesome seamstress, great housekeeper and I could go on and on.

This is an early picture of my Mama and Daddy with my sister, Jean (who we all called Sister), my other sister Faye and my brother Ronald (known to all of us as Bud).

This is my Mama and me.  This is probably taken at the house that burned when I was 3 years old.

 

This is Mama and me taken the day Sister and HG got married.

. 

This has always been one of my favorite pictures of the three of us. I don’t exactly know why. I just always felt so safe when I looked at this picture.I can barely remember my Daddy looking like this. He was almost totally gray from the time I was little and wore glasses. This was taken on Mama and Daddy’s

25th. wedding anniversary – a surprise party.

  This was at the little grocery store my Mama and Daddy operated in the big city of Merry Hill. Boy, the things a nickel would buy back then!This picture is very special along with all of them that were taken on that Easter Sunday. It is Mama, Daddy and all of the grandchildren they had at the time.  Several more came along after this, but sad to say, they never knew my Daddy.  This was taken on Easter Sunday and he died on April 30.  The grandchildren called them Mother and Papa.This was taken in the summer of 1966, shortly after I graduated from high school.  This is the best picture I have of Mama and my boys.  TJ called her Muver and Ray called her Wuver.  They would send mail to her with those names on the envelope and believe it or not, she would get the mail.  That wouldn’t happen today.

My Mama and I didn’t always get along.  I guess she and I were too much alike. But she was a great Mama.  I loved her very much and I miss her a lot.  She died on December 30, 1994.  I know she was always my champion.  I also know that later on in my life I did some things that disappointed her, but she never let me down.  She, my two sisters and their husbands were at my Church the night I got baptized – May 15, 1988.  I am so thankful she knew I was saved when she died. 

Thanks for taking this journey with me.

I meant to post this yesterday, June 15, Mama’s birthday and I forgot to do it.

Testing

This is a test post to see if RSS Graffiti has properly imported the new posts to Mom's wall. I'll delete this post later.

May 19, 1981

Thirty years ago – WOW – it doesn’t seem possible. You might wonder what I am talking about. I want to share something very special to me in this email. My youngest son, Ray, is 30 years old today. It seems like only yesterday. Thirty years – it is a reminder of how old I am. I was 32 when Ray was born. It was an extremely hard labor; not very long, but very hard. I really struggled to get him into this world and it seems a lot of his life since then has been a struggle. He’s always had to fight for his place in life. Some of the struggles have been of his own making and he will readily admit it. But a lot of them were because of other people and other situations. I have seen him struggle with emotions and feeling like it wasn’t “manly” to cry. I’ve seen him hurt and know I couldn’t do anything to ease the hurt. No parent wants to see their children hurt. It breaks our heart. But, sometimes it happens. I tried to raise him to be a good person, to be respectful of other people, to be a loving and kind man. I tried to teach him to respect women and never treat them badly. I think he’s turned out to be a pretty good young man. He has a heart big as all outdoors.

I want to share some pictures with you – from his birth to my most recent picture of him taken in June 2010. I hope you enjoy them. Just consider them a Mom’s nostalgic journey and if you don’t want to travel with me, you can just close this email and go on with your day.

I went into labor about 4:00 on May 18. Ray was born about 4:00 May 19. I was confined to bed when I was seven months pregnant and was staying with my Mama while Tommy was working in Delaware. Dr. Baker told me Ray had the widest shoulders of any baby he had ever delivered. At one point I was told if I couldn’t bring him into this world pretty soon, they would have to break his collar bones. Needless to say, that was all it took and he came into this world screaming at the top of his lungs.

Professional pix taken at hospital.

This was the first professional picture.

This is my Mama's favorite pix.

Ray and “Wuver”, my Mama.

What beautiful curls. His daddy got so tired of hearing

"what a beautiful little girl"......

Ray went from curls to "GI"

On the beach at Pink Shell Cottages.

Ray lost his 2 bottom teeth when he

pulled his play pen over on himself.

Not sure which birthday-but really good cake.

The overalls are hand-me-downs from TJ.

Matador in school program.

Murphy High School Band.

Rodeo day at Roanoke Island Baptist Church.

RIBC album picture.

Family reunion at Midway.

Maggie Valley zoo – yes, that it a snake.

Dare Day wearing "Muver's" glasses.

Check out the eyebrows.

One of the original "cone heads".

GI Joe kitty.

Beach picture behind Pink Shell.

Halloween.

Who wouldn't love that face?

Ocracoke visit with Aunt Sallie Nunemaker.

Mother's Day 2008.

He came to Church with me that morning and

we went to lunch with Charles and Candi after services.

He left for Alaska in June.

Taken shortly after leaving Manns Harbor-Alaska bound!

Hannah and Ray - June 2010. She visited him in Alaska when she

went on a mission trip with her Church. Not sure what I think

about the long hair!

I hope you enjoyed these pictures. Of course, I have hundreds to choose from but just wanted to share some with you. I’m sure he will be ready to kill me when he sees this post. I love Ray and miss him very much. I hope he has a wonderful 30th. birthday. I wish TJ and I could be there to enjoy it with him.

Brenda

Happy Mother's Day

Today I am going to do something a little different for my email.  On May 20, 2009, I sent the following email to my sons, TJ and Ray.  Ray was living in Alaska, moved there in 2008 and I can’t remember if TJ was in Greenville and just couldn’t get home or if he was in Libya, Africa. 

 

“Hey Guys,

 

I know you are wondering why Mom is sending you an email with the subject “Happy Mother’s Day”.  She’s already talked to us;  we’ve already told her we love her and she said she loves us. So…..what gives?

 

Well, we had a really great sermon at Church this morning about our jobs as “Mothers”.  Also, I have been working on the devotion I am going to be presenting next Saturday  to the ladies at Church.  I have been preparing a lot of info. to give the ladies – some serious things, some funny things, etc.

 

As I have been typing these things, naturally I have been re-reading them.  Some of them have brought so many things back to me about the kind of Mother I was when you two were growing up.  I know your childhood was not the easiest in the world.  I was really hard on you at times; thinking I was doing the right thing; but knowing now that I wasn’t.  I gave you all the material things that I could afford.  You had most of the things that your friends had.

 

But, I look back now (and this is not the first time I have done this) and realize that the most important thing I could have given you, I withheld – MYSELF.  I was jealous of my time because I never seemed to have enough of it.  I had to fight to get your Dad or your Jordan grandparents to watch you for even a little while and I know I became resentful of that.

 

After listening to Charles’ message this morning, I absolutely know that I was not the example I should have been.  Of course, for a lot of that time I was not a Christian.  I did a lot of things I am ashamed of and things I know you were probably ashamed of too. And  I am sorry for those things.  If I could go back and change things, I would.  But, I can’t.  I can only go on from here and try to be the best Christian Mom I can be.  I know you are adults now, but I still need to be the Christian example.

 

Both of you have always said, “I love you” very easily.  And so do I.  It’s very easy to say “I love you” and the other person respond “I love you, too”.  But I want you to know that I DO LOVE YOU – from the bottom of my heart.  Never, ever take that for granted and always know that it is true.  There have been times in our lives that I have to admit that I might not have liked you right at that particular time and the feeling has probably been mutual at times for you; but I have always loved you.

 

I haven’t told you enough that I am proud of you, but I am.  You have both overcome some hardships.  Some of these have been brought on by yourself and some of them inflicted on you by other people.  But you both always seem to land on your feet – no matter how hard things are.  I know finances are tight for you now and I wish I was in a position to help you more.  But I can’t – I know it and you know it.  But, that doesn’t keep me from wishing I could.  I haven’t always made the wisest decisions financially.  Hopefully, you have learned from my mistakes.

 

Thank you so much for calling me today.  I knew I wouldn’t see either of you and that made me a little sad.  But then I would think of children that don’t even have a Mom to call.

 

I don’t want fancy gifts or cards from you.  Neither of you can afford them and they really aren’t necessary.  The calls were my gifts.  But, there is one thing both of you can give me.  I would like to know for sure that I am going to be with you in Heave one day.  You both say you are saved; but I really need to know that.  I don’t want to spend my eternity in Heaven, knowing that I didn’t do everything I possibly could to be sure that you would be there too.  We have a lot of people there waiting for us and I want us to join them one day.  I pray for both of you each and every day.  I ask God to keep you safe, bless your lives, find you good Christian wives, and to please draw you closer to Him.

 

I remember, several years ago, I was talking to Nancy Cahoon one day about how hard it was to take care of you all by myself.  I told her that I felt like I was butting my head against a brick wall and that I felt like I always had to put up a good front for you guys.  I always held my tears until I was in the shower and then lied to you, telling you I had gotten shampoo in my eyes.  I didn’t know that you – TJ – could hear Nancy and me talking until you came in the room where we were.  You were holding Raymond’s hand in yours and had tears in your eyes.  You looked at me and tried to smile and said, “Mom, I knew you were crying all the time.  I knew it wasn’t the shampoo because we all used Johnson’s baby shampoo.”  I couldn’t help but smile, thinking I had been hiding things from you and finding out I was not successful.  There have been other things I thought I was hiding from you, but in recent years, we have been able to talk about those things.  I am so sorry for being the disappointment that I must have been at times.  I guess you have seen that I am only human and mess up.

 

I treasure the relationship we have.  I really love the fact that your friends like being with your Mom.  I like being called a “cool Mom” by you and your friends.  But, most of all, I just love being your MOM.

 

I love you guys.  You are the reason Mother’s Day is special and you are the reason I am a special Mom.

 

Mom”

 

I would like to be able to say that I’ve never let my boys down or disappointed them since I wrote that email two  years ago; but that would be lie.  After all, like I said, I am human and I mess up.  But, I have come a long way in my spiritual life since sending that email.  I still have a great relationship with both of them.  It’s been almost three years since I’ve seen Ray, but we talk at least once a week and sometimes more often.  TJ and I talk several times a week.  Sometimes he is my sounding board.  If I’ve had a bad day at work and just need to vent, I give him a ring and he lets me spout off and then asks if I feel better. One of the things I asked for in the email above has happened.  TJ has a Christian wife, Amy.  She is his childhood sweetheart and is a very special lady. Ray will find his one day. I know I have not been the best Mother all the time.  But, I would not trade the name, MOM, for any other name in the world.

 

I want to take this opportunity to wish all you mothers “Happy Mother’s Day”.  I hope you have a wonderful day and if you aren’t able to spend the day with your family, I hope you are able to talk with them.  I won’t see either of my children today, but that’s okay.  I know I will hear from both of them.  I know they love me and never fail to let me know.  I am a very special Mom because I have two very special children that have made me one.  I also have some “adopted” children and grandchildren that are pretty special too.

 

I realize that some of you that get this email are not Moms and some of you aren’t women.  So, I want to wish you a very blessed day too.  And if your Mom is alive, give her a call today (if you aren’t going to see her) and tell her you love her.

 

 

Brenda

boutlaw@carolinaregion.com