The Images of Mother
4 years of age-my Mommy can do anything!
8 years of age-my Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 years of age-my Mother doesn’t really know quite everything.
14 years of age-naturally, Mother doesn’t know that, either.
16 years of age-Mother? She’s hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 years of age-that old woman? She’s way out of date!
25 years of age-well, she might know a little about it!
35 years of age-before we decide, let’s get Mom’s opinion.
45 years of age-wonder that Mom would have thought about it?
65 years of age-wish I could talk it over with Mom.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!
Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day.
Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.
Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.
Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.
Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.
When you love somebody, your eyelashes to up and down and little stars come out of you. (what an image!)
You really shouldn’t say “I love you” unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.
When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.
When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.
For those with no children—this is hysterical!
For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious. For those who have children this age, this is not funny. For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning. For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
Things I’ve learned from my children – honest and no kidding!
A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
A 3 years old voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.,
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 foot room.
You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh”, it’s already too late.
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
Certain Lego blocks will pass through the digestive tract of a 4 year old.,
Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
Super glue is forever.
No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can’t walk on water.
Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
It will, however, make cats dizzy.
60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
IF YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND LIFE…JUST ASK KIDS
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin (5) and Bryan (3). The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. “If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.” Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, “Bryan, you be Jesus.”
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six year old daughter and said, “Would you like to say the blessing?” “I wouldn’t know what to say,” the little girl replied. “Just way what you hear Mommy say”, the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, “Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”
A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and turned to salt.” His son asked, “what happened to the flea?”
Another 3 year old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed that the left shoe was on the right foot. She said, “Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet.” He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, “Don’t kid me Mom. They are the only feet I got.”
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