How I spend my New Year's Eve now is quite different from some I have had in the past. I can honestly say I can recall all of them as good memories...no regrets. I've spent some at dances, parties, once at the movie (watching Gone With the Wind), quiet dinner with a couple of friends, quiet evenings at home and at Watch Night services at my Church. One I clearly recall, December 31, 1999, Rick Olsen and I spent New Year's Eve carrying my son, Ray, and his friend back to Georgia. We had to pick him up on Christmas after his truck had broken down. He left the truck in Georgia and caught a ride to Columbia, SC. This was the New Year's Eve that we were predicted to loose all computers, etc. We left Manns Harbor about 2:00 AM, got to Georgia, Rick helped Ray fix his truck, ate some great southern barbecue and Rick and I headed back to NC. I never let the gas tank get below half full; all the stations had notices on the doors that they would be closing at 11:30 PM just in case their computers failed. Rick and I talked about how weird it would be if everything went dark at 12:00. But, as we all know, that didn't happen. We managed to get back to Manns Harbor in time for Rick to give his wife a New Year's kiss. Quite frankly, I don't want to relive that particular New Year's Eve.
New Year's Eve is also the anniversary of my marriage to Tommy, TJ's and Ray's dad. Even though the marriage ended, I have great memories and have thought about a lot of them today. Regardless of what happened between Tommy and me, I will always be thankful for my two wonderful sons that are a result of that marriage. They are two of the best things that have ever happened to me.
As I look back on 2010 I have to say I am not sorry to see it end. Some people will say I am just wishing my life away. But 2010 has been a very hard year for me, and I am ready for brighter days. A lot of things happened this year; some good and some bad. Just like in everyone's life. I wish I could go back and change some things, but I can't and I have to live with that. There are things I would like to say to some people; but the time for that is past. There are things I would like to have done; but let the opportunity slip by. I don't want that to happen to me in 2011.
I have worked hard all my life and for the past 26 years, have held two full-time jobs; sometimes three. That ended this year. This has changed quite a few things for me, especially financially. But, as I adjust to the difference in income, I find that most of the things I can't afford to do anymore aren't really that important anyway. It's amazing how easy you can adjust if you can just get it through your head what is important.
2010 was a hard year for me physically and emotionally. But for the Grace of God, I wouldn't be here tonight to write this. But God has been good to me and I am so thankful for that. I hurt my children, family and friends this year and I can't take it back. But I know I am forgiven; by God and them.
There have been some additions to my family this year. TJ got married in June to an absolutely wonderful woman. I had kinda given up on him ever getting married. He almost did several years ago; but it wasn't meant to be. I believe Amy is the woman he is supposed to have in his life. And when we got Amy, we also got a great young man named Josh. He just turned seven and is undoubtedly one of the smartest kids I have ever known.
Ray has had his ups and downs but right know his world is UP. He has renewed an old friendship that seems to make him very happy. I pray every day that Jesus will put a good Christian woman in his life. I am just trusting Him and leaving in it His capable hands.
I have renewed some friendships through Face Book this year. Two of these friendships were people I knew when I lived in Edenton, 38 years ago. I fought getting on Face Book for over a year, but I have to admit I was wrong. I thoroughly enjoy it. I don't get involved in any of the games; but I love being able to stay in touch with friends and family through it.
New Year's Eve is also a kinda bittersweet time for me. My Mama passed away on December 30, 1994 and we spent New Year's Eve that year planning a funeral. Her service was on January 1. The last 4 years of her life were hard and even though I miss her, I know she is in a much better place and I will see her and my Daddy again one day.
I can recall other New Year's Eve when I made resolutions...sometimes many and sometimes only one. Sad to say, I hardly ever kept them. Oh, I tried, for maybe a month or so. But I always failed. And I think that happens with everyone. I think most of the time the resolutions we make are unreasonable.
I have decided to make a few this year; but nothing unreasonable. I want to recognize more of the important things in life. I live right on the water in Manns Harbor and have the opportunity to see the most amazing sights every day. I have a pictures folder on my computer called "Scenery" and most of the pictures in it are taken from my front porch. I want to be a better Christian; have a better testimony and be a better example to the people around me. I am often reminded that I may be the only example of a Christian that some people see....I want to show them a great example. I want to remember to tell my children that I love them every time I talk to them. I know they know I love them but I want to tell them. This also applies to my grandchildren and the rest of my family. I want my friends to know how much I love them and how thankful I am to have them in my life. I want to do more work at my Church and to open my heart to whatever God has planned for me. See, none of these are unreasonable. They are really just basic fundamentals.
I have a great life, a great family, a great Church, a great Church family and a great, no an awesome God. I have so much to be thankful for. And I want 2011 to express those things in my life.
What do I want to see happen in 2011? Like so many others, I want world peace. But I am realistic enough to know that isn't going to happen. I would like to see a better economy, more jobs for those without one. I would like to see a world where no babies are killed in their mother's womb. I would like to see a world where no child is ever abused. I would like to have a President that is a Christian and that cares about my country. I would like for our military to be able to come home. I have no control over any of these things. I can only do my part and let God take care of the rest.
I don't want to end this post with such negative thoughts. So....I want to wish everyone that reads this a very Happy and Blessed New Year. I hope 2011 is everything that you need it to be. I wish you all the happiness in the world. But, most of all I hope you can find the hope of eternal life that I have. That is the greatest New Year's wish I could give you. Make that your New Year's resolution, follow through on it and I can guarantee you a better life. God Bless You!!
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