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May 19, 1981

Thirty years ago – WOW – it doesn’t seem possible. You might wonder what I am talking about. I want to share something very special to me in this email. My youngest son, Ray, is 30 years old today. It seems like only yesterday. Thirty years – it is a reminder of how old I am. I was 32 when Ray was born. It was an extremely hard labor; not very long, but very hard. I really struggled to get him into this world and it seems a lot of his life since then has been a struggle. He’s always had to fight for his place in life. Some of the struggles have been of his own making and he will readily admit it. But a lot of them were because of other people and other situations. I have seen him struggle with emotions and feeling like it wasn’t “manly” to cry. I’ve seen him hurt and know I couldn’t do anything to ease the hurt. No parent wants to see their children hurt. It breaks our heart. But, sometimes it happens. I tried to raise him to be a good person, to be respectful of other people, to be a loving and kind man. I tried to teach him to respect women and never treat them badly. I think he’s turned out to be a pretty good young man. He has a heart big as all outdoors.

I want to share some pictures with you – from his birth to my most recent picture of him taken in June 2010. I hope you enjoy them. Just consider them a Mom’s nostalgic journey and if you don’t want to travel with me, you can just close this email and go on with your day.

I went into labor about 4:00 on May 18. Ray was born about 4:00 May 19. I was confined to bed when I was seven months pregnant and was staying with my Mama while Tommy was working in Delaware. Dr. Baker told me Ray had the widest shoulders of any baby he had ever delivered. At one point I was told if I couldn’t bring him into this world pretty soon, they would have to break his collar bones. Needless to say, that was all it took and he came into this world screaming at the top of his lungs.

Professional pix taken at hospital.

This was the first professional picture.

This is my Mama's favorite pix.

Ray and “Wuver”, my Mama.

What beautiful curls. His daddy got so tired of hearing

"what a beautiful little girl"......

Ray went from curls to "GI"

On the beach at Pink Shell Cottages.

Ray lost his 2 bottom teeth when he

pulled his play pen over on himself.

Not sure which birthday-but really good cake.

The overalls are hand-me-downs from TJ.

Matador in school program.

Murphy High School Band.

Rodeo day at Roanoke Island Baptist Church.

RIBC album picture.

Family reunion at Midway.

Maggie Valley zoo – yes, that it a snake.

Dare Day wearing "Muver's" glasses.

Check out the eyebrows.

One of the original "cone heads".

GI Joe kitty.

Beach picture behind Pink Shell.

Halloween.

Who wouldn't love that face?

Ocracoke visit with Aunt Sallie Nunemaker.

Mother's Day 2008.

He came to Church with me that morning and

we went to lunch with Charles and Candi after services.

He left for Alaska in June.

Taken shortly after leaving Manns Harbor-Alaska bound!

Hannah and Ray - June 2010. She visited him in Alaska when she

went on a mission trip with her Church. Not sure what I think

about the long hair!

I hope you enjoyed these pictures. Of course, I have hundreds to choose from but just wanted to share some with you. I’m sure he will be ready to kill me when he sees this post. I love Ray and miss him very much. I hope he has a wonderful 30th. birthday. I wish TJ and I could be there to enjoy it with him.

Brenda

Happy Mother's Day

Today I am going to do something a little different for my email.  On May 20, 2009, I sent the following email to my sons, TJ and Ray.  Ray was living in Alaska, moved there in 2008 and I can’t remember if TJ was in Greenville and just couldn’t get home or if he was in Libya, Africa. 

 

“Hey Guys,

 

I know you are wondering why Mom is sending you an email with the subject “Happy Mother’s Day”.  She’s already talked to us;  we’ve already told her we love her and she said she loves us. So…..what gives?

 

Well, we had a really great sermon at Church this morning about our jobs as “Mothers”.  Also, I have been working on the devotion I am going to be presenting next Saturday  to the ladies at Church.  I have been preparing a lot of info. to give the ladies – some serious things, some funny things, etc.

 

As I have been typing these things, naturally I have been re-reading them.  Some of them have brought so many things back to me about the kind of Mother I was when you two were growing up.  I know your childhood was not the easiest in the world.  I was really hard on you at times; thinking I was doing the right thing; but knowing now that I wasn’t.  I gave you all the material things that I could afford.  You had most of the things that your friends had.

 

But, I look back now (and this is not the first time I have done this) and realize that the most important thing I could have given you, I withheld – MYSELF.  I was jealous of my time because I never seemed to have enough of it.  I had to fight to get your Dad or your Jordan grandparents to watch you for even a little while and I know I became resentful of that.

 

After listening to Charles’ message this morning, I absolutely know that I was not the example I should have been.  Of course, for a lot of that time I was not a Christian.  I did a lot of things I am ashamed of and things I know you were probably ashamed of too. And  I am sorry for those things.  If I could go back and change things, I would.  But, I can’t.  I can only go on from here and try to be the best Christian Mom I can be.  I know you are adults now, but I still need to be the Christian example.

 

Both of you have always said, “I love you” very easily.  And so do I.  It’s very easy to say “I love you” and the other person respond “I love you, too”.  But I want you to know that I DO LOVE YOU – from the bottom of my heart.  Never, ever take that for granted and always know that it is true.  There have been times in our lives that I have to admit that I might not have liked you right at that particular time and the feeling has probably been mutual at times for you; but I have always loved you.

 

I haven’t told you enough that I am proud of you, but I am.  You have both overcome some hardships.  Some of these have been brought on by yourself and some of them inflicted on you by other people.  But you both always seem to land on your feet – no matter how hard things are.  I know finances are tight for you now and I wish I was in a position to help you more.  But I can’t – I know it and you know it.  But, that doesn’t keep me from wishing I could.  I haven’t always made the wisest decisions financially.  Hopefully, you have learned from my mistakes.

 

Thank you so much for calling me today.  I knew I wouldn’t see either of you and that made me a little sad.  But then I would think of children that don’t even have a Mom to call.

 

I don’t want fancy gifts or cards from you.  Neither of you can afford them and they really aren’t necessary.  The calls were my gifts.  But, there is one thing both of you can give me.  I would like to know for sure that I am going to be with you in Heave one day.  You both say you are saved; but I really need to know that.  I don’t want to spend my eternity in Heaven, knowing that I didn’t do everything I possibly could to be sure that you would be there too.  We have a lot of people there waiting for us and I want us to join them one day.  I pray for both of you each and every day.  I ask God to keep you safe, bless your lives, find you good Christian wives, and to please draw you closer to Him.

 

I remember, several years ago, I was talking to Nancy Cahoon one day about how hard it was to take care of you all by myself.  I told her that I felt like I was butting my head against a brick wall and that I felt like I always had to put up a good front for you guys.  I always held my tears until I was in the shower and then lied to you, telling you I had gotten shampoo in my eyes.  I didn’t know that you – TJ – could hear Nancy and me talking until you came in the room where we were.  You were holding Raymond’s hand in yours and had tears in your eyes.  You looked at me and tried to smile and said, “Mom, I knew you were crying all the time.  I knew it wasn’t the shampoo because we all used Johnson’s baby shampoo.”  I couldn’t help but smile, thinking I had been hiding things from you and finding out I was not successful.  There have been other things I thought I was hiding from you, but in recent years, we have been able to talk about those things.  I am so sorry for being the disappointment that I must have been at times.  I guess you have seen that I am only human and mess up.

 

I treasure the relationship we have.  I really love the fact that your friends like being with your Mom.  I like being called a “cool Mom” by you and your friends.  But, most of all, I just love being your MOM.

 

I love you guys.  You are the reason Mother’s Day is special and you are the reason I am a special Mom.

 

Mom”

 

I would like to be able to say that I’ve never let my boys down or disappointed them since I wrote that email two  years ago; but that would be lie.  After all, like I said, I am human and I mess up.  But, I have come a long way in my spiritual life since sending that email.  I still have a great relationship with both of them.  It’s been almost three years since I’ve seen Ray, but we talk at least once a week and sometimes more often.  TJ and I talk several times a week.  Sometimes he is my sounding board.  If I’ve had a bad day at work and just need to vent, I give him a ring and he lets me spout off and then asks if I feel better. One of the things I asked for in the email above has happened.  TJ has a Christian wife, Amy.  She is his childhood sweetheart and is a very special lady. Ray will find his one day. I know I have not been the best Mother all the time.  But, I would not trade the name, MOM, for any other name in the world.

 

I want to take this opportunity to wish all you mothers “Happy Mother’s Day”.  I hope you have a wonderful day and if you aren’t able to spend the day with your family, I hope you are able to talk with them.  I won’t see either of my children today, but that’s okay.  I know I will hear from both of them.  I know they love me and never fail to let me know.  I am a very special Mom because I have two very special children that have made me one.  I also have some “adopted” children and grandchildren that are pretty special too.

 

I realize that some of you that get this email are not Moms and some of you aren’t women.  So, I want to wish you a very blessed day too.  And if your Mom is alive, give her a call today (if you aren’t going to see her) and tell her you love her.

 

 

Brenda

boutlaw@carolinaregion.com

 

 

Mrs. Mary Hill’s 87th. Birthday

Mary Hill, a long time member of Roanoke Island Baptist Church celebrated her 87th. birthday on February 26, 2011. She celebrated with a “card party” and a small gathering of friends and family. She received 38 birthday cards. There were 15 people in attendance, including her Pastor and his wife and neighbors that live on both sides of her. Everyone enjoyed the red velvet cake and french vanilla and butter pecan ice cream; a few had cookie dough. Mrs. Mary blew out the candles on her cake. A good time was had by all, especially Mrs. Mary – she had a ball. She said she is already looking forward to next year.

Mrs. Mary and her husband, Hoyt, came to Roanoke Island Baptist Church about 20 years ago. They were looking for a Church in the area, stopped in at the “little Church” on the corner of Airport Road and stayed. Both of them were very active in the Church. Bro. Hoyt passed away in 2008 and since that time Mrs. Mary has had three strokes. The folks at both RIBC and Britthaven Nursing Home call her their miracle lady. She has suffered many setbacks but with the help of God and her family, she always pulls through.

Truly the Lord has worked a miracle in her life and she continues to be faithful to Church services three times a week.

Hoyt & Mary Hill - 5/10/2007 - Missions Conference

With daughter, Pat - Christmas 2008

Church Christmas Party - 2010

Church Christmas Party - 2010

87 years old - February 26, 2011

Hurry-up, Pat. Light those candles!

Ready..........set.........make a wish.......

.......GO..........

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MRS. MARY. WE LOVE YOU AND WISH YOU MANY, MANY MORE.

Pulled Sugar

Good morning everyone.  What a beautiful day!  As I was driving across the  Manns Harbor Bridge a few minutes ago, I could barely see.  My glasses are photo gray and darken when I go out in the sunlight, but this morning they just couldn’t darken quick enough.  That beautiful sun reflecting off the water would just about blind a person.  Still plenty windy here on the Outer Banks but at least last night the elephants had decided to play quietly and just move around a little bit.

 

Yesterday I mentioned “pulled sugar” in my email.  I have had several people reply and ask me to tell what it is.  Before I started this email, I “googled” pulled sugar just to see what results I would get. Just as I thought, none of them were the pulled sugar I am talking about.  Most of these references were about things like very delicate icings for cakes, extremely delicate decorations that I’ve always heard referred to as “spun sugar”.  The “pulled sugar” I am talking about is a candy we used to make when I was young.  We had a G.A. group at my Church which was an organization for the young girls up through intermediate age.  My family lived right behind the Merry Hill Baptist Church (made it hard to miss a service) and sometimes the G.A. group would meet at my house and Mama would help us make candy.  Often we would make fudge, but there wasn’t much  group participation in that so most of the time we made “pulled sugar”.  Sometimes some of the kids in my neighborhood would come over to make it.  The best I can remember, the only ingredients are vinegar and sugar. A little water can be added to “cut” the sourness of the vinegar, but Mama never did that.  I know, sounds weird for candy doesn’t it.  I don’t remember how much of each ingredient because my Mama was one of those cooks that never had to measure anything; she just put in until she had it right and she was an awesome cook. The mixture was cooked  over a medium/low heat constantly stirring to keep it from scorching. To see if it was done, you took a small amount in a spoon and dropped a little in a cup of water.  It if hardened into a small ball, it was “ready”.   It was poured onto a big baking sheet. The kitchen table was covered in wax paper; we would cover our hands with butter and one of us would pick up some of this mixture.  Now remember it was really hot.  You just started working with it in your hands and as you did this it would turn white and become harder and harder to move. I guess you are wondering where the group participation came in?  Now! You would give one end to your partner and then you would start to stretch or “pull” the sugar. As you pulled it you twisted it over itself and swapped ends with your partner.  When the piece had been pulled until you could barely pull it any more, you laid it on the wax paper.  Sometimes we would twist into a fancy look, other times just lay it out straight.  It would harden and then you broke in into whatever size you wanted with a knife.  You didn’t cut it, you just hit it with the blade of the knife and it would break.  It was hard, but when you put it in your mouth, the warmth of your mouth would soften it and it was delicious.  If you’ve ever had any “pulled sugar” you would never buy another box of Salt Water Taffy.  I just called my sister to be sure I had everything right and the only thing I had left out was adding the water to the ingredients.  But she said I probably left that out because Mama never did it. So, that’s “pulled sugar” and how you make it.  My sister also told me she found an old recipe for it a month or so ago when she was just looking through an old book.  If she can remember where it was, she is going to get the recipe to me.  It might be a fun thing for our Church ladies to do at one of our ladies meetings.

 

One more thing before I get to work.  As I was coming to work this morning and having my prayer one of the comments I made in my prayer really struck me….hard.  I was thanking the Lord for the forgiveness of sins in my life.  I thanked him for not seeing me as me, but for seeing me through the blood of his Son.  Isn’t it great that when we are seen through the eyes of God, he sees us as whole and clean.  None of us are deserving of that.  But I thank God every day…for the precious blood of Jesus Christ.  I hope you can do the same.  It’s not too late if you can’t.  It’s never too late to become a Child of the King.  But, don’t keep putting it off.  I honestly believe this old world is not going  continue much longer.  I believe Jesus is coming… soon… to get His children.

 

Have a great day everyone.  Embrace this beautiful day and all it has to offer you.

 

 

 

 

Brenda

boutlaw@carolinaregion.com

 

 

FW: Actions Speak Loudly

This is really good.

 

 

Actions Speak Loudly

 

The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing,
stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by
accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman was furious and
honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get
through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.


As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up
into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to
exit her car with her hands up..

He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted,
photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the
door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was
waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your
car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you
and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper
sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to
Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the
trunk, so naturally....I assumed you had stolen the car."

---

Phone call

Good morning everyone.  I hope you all had a good night’s rest and are ready for another day. 

 

A few weeks I sent out an email and I think I  typed the same thing in the subject line.  I want to tell you about another phone call.

 

Twenty-two years ago today, about 2:30 in the afternoon, I got a phone call from the woman my children were staying with.  It was a Friday and had been snowing since about 10:00; the kids got out of school early and they got off the bus at the sitter’s.  TJ was really old enough to go home by himself, but since the weather was getting so bad, I didn’t want  him to do that.  I was up to my eyeballs at work and I remember Melvin, my boss, was standing by my desk helping me with a tax return.  The phone rang and the other lady in the office answered it.  She told me it was for me and I asked her to see if I could return the call in a few minutes.  Then she said it was my babysitter and she needed to talk to me right away.  Well, naturally my heart just jumped right up into my throat.  I took the call and her words scared me to death…..she couldn’t find my boys.  TJ, Raymond and one of their friends, that also stayed with her, had gone outside shortly after getting to her house.  This was not unusual.  The neighborhood had several houses, everyone knew everyone else so she wasn’t too worried about them playing outside, sometimes they even played in the woods across the road.  When she went out to call them in for lunch, she couldn’t find them.  She called her husband, who was working about a mile down the road, and he came home, looked all around and couldn’t find them either.  By then,  she was getting really concerned, called the sheriff’s office  and called me.  I told her I would be there just as soon as I could get there.

 

I told Melvin what had happened – he said GO!  I made a phone call to my Pastor and told him what had happened and he said he would meet me at my house.  I really don’t remember much about my trip to Manns Harbor, but I do remember as I went across the bridge that I was praying.  I asked God to please save the boys. I didn’t make promises that I would do this, or that , I did not try to make any deals….I just asked Him to save the boys.  I remembered that TJ had on an old “leather” flight jacket and Raymond had left his coat at home that morning and only had on a t-shirt with ¾ length sleeves and a sweatshirt.  It had been snowing really hard since it had started.  There was already several inches on the ground and it was still coming down.  I went to the sitter’s house; still no sign of the boys.  I went home to put on some warmer clothes and was just about ready to go back out the door when my phone rang.  I remember putting my hand on the receiver and telling myself to be calm and asking God to help me.  I have to admit I really didn’t want to answer that phone.  I was so scared it would be the sheriff or someone giving me bad news.  But, I answered it and it was the sitter telling me they had been found and were okay.  I hung up and hurried back to her house.  I was so glad to see them.  They were scared, scratched, wet and very cold, but thankfully all right.

 

After we got them warmed up some they told their story.  They had gone outside to play for a while and wandered into the woods across the road.  They never meant to go so far, but they just lost their way.  TJ was a Boy Scout and knew how to find the sun and get his bearings; but there was no sun to find.  They wandered around for about 2 hours and finally stopped under a tree.  The other boy with them had on a heavy coat.  They all laid down, TJ opened his coat and pulled Raymond inside and closed it around them as best as he could. None of them were aware of how dangerous this could have been with night just a few hours away.   TJ insists they never feel asleep.  But the man who found them said he started calling their names as soon as he saw them and he was almost on top of them before they got up. 

 

I had lived in Dare County for 15 years at the time this happened but had lived in Manns Harbor for only a year.  It was an awesome feeling to realize how people, some virtually strangers, pulled together to help in time of need.

 

I need to mention one more thing.  I was a new Christian.  I was saved in May, 1988.  It hadn’t even been a year.  But, I was sure God would answer my prayer.  Our lives could have so easily been changed that day.  I could have lost the two people that are most precious to me.  But God spared them and me. My God is an awesome God.

 

I hope all of you have an absolutely great day. 

 

 

Brenda

boutlaw@carolinaregion.com