Shopping with the kids.

I hope everyone had a great night’s sleep.  I’m so glad to finally be busy at work.  The days go by so much faster when you are busy; at least mine do.  I know I am blessed that in November and December when I don’t have much to do at work, I can pretty much do what I want to.  I read, crochet, watch tv shows and movies on the computer.  Anything I want to – I just have to be there.  But, I would rather be busy and work hard 10 hours than just sit at the desk 8 hours.

 

Sometimes shopping with kids can be fun and sometimes it can be your worst nightmare.  Whenever I carried my boys to a store with me, they were usually pretty good.  When they were small, we had a Roses’ in the Outer Banks Mall; in fact that mall was called the Roses’ mall for many years.  They were willing to go anywhere in the store with me I needed to go as long as we could check out the toy section before we left.  Of course, like all other children, they wanted everything on the shelves.  And, we usually managed to have 2 toys in the cart when we got to the checkout counter.  I was always thankful for Match Box toys.  They weren’t very expensive, therefore, I could afford them.  TJ and Ray wore out the knees on many pairs of pants pushing those cars around.  Legos was another great toy and they liked them too.  Both of my boys had great imaginations and just created their own designs. 

 

When they were young, it wasn’t hard to buy clothes for them.  They really didn’t have much choice about what they wore.  But, as they got older, I tried to let them pick out their own clothes.  When they reached the teenage years, shopping became harder.  They never liked anything I picked out; I didn’t have any taste at all. But the funny thing about that was, if I went shopping by myself and bought them something, it was always fine.  The only thing I can remember that TJ really hated was the --- my mind is drawing a blank here.  I can’t remember what the pants were called.  But, here is the story…..the first year my boys attended Church camp, they had to have several pair of pants that weren’t shorts.  They pants had to be to or below the knees.  Marie Reed did a lot of sewing for all the kids back then and she made my boys several pairs each.  TJ didn’t mind the pants themselves; but he hated all the designs in the materials.  We picked material that was like the pants in the store and he didn’t have any choice but wear them, but he really didn’t like them.  I am sure he will remember what they were called. 

 

After TJ moved to Greenville, I usually visited him for the after Thanksgiving sales…better known as Black Friday.  Whatever girl he was dating at the time would try to hang with me, but it was a hard job to keep up with me then.  One particular Friday we were standing outside Goody’s waiting for the doors to open at 4:45 AM.  TJ was drinking coffee and trying very hard to look cool.  But, he wasn’t the only guy there.  His girlfriend, I think it was Allison, stayed with us until about 9:00 and she had to leave to go to work.  TJ and I went to Belks.  They always had great sales.  I had been given some early Christmas money and was trying to find me a few things both for work and Church.  The big sale ended at 11:00.  I had picked out a few things and every time I would come out of the dressing room so TJ could see it, he would give me a “thumbs down”.  I finally asked him what was wrong with the clothes.  His comment?...”they look like MOM clothes. You always buy MOM clothes”.  I didn’t know exactly what he was talking about.  After all, I was a MOM.  Then he explained it.  He said I always bought t-shirts with the flowers, bears, dogs, etc. on the front; same thing for sweatshirts; I usually bought red or blue, etc.  Then he asked me to let him pick out some things for me.  Ok, I was game.  We had the nicest clerk working with us and I just stayed in the dressing room, trying on everything he brought me and modeling it so he could see it and approve or disapprove.  Just a few minutes before 11:00, I told him we had to stop because the sale stopped in just a few minutes.  The clerk heard me and told me not to worry about it; she would ring everything up at the sale price, giving me all the discounts.  We shopped until a little after 12:00.  I ended up with several outfits that I would have never bought for myself, but loved every one of them.  When we got to the counter to pay, I apologized to the clerk and thanked her for letting me have all the discounts.  She said it was her pleasure and her next comment surprised me and thrilled me at the same time.  She said, “I have had the best time watching your son pick out clothes for you that were both young looking and becoming.  He obviously loves you and wants you to look good.”  I came back home on Saturday, hung all my new clothes in the closet and just felt real good about myself.  On Sunday I decided to wear what is called a pencil skirt.  It’s very straight and supposedly very slimming.  It was in a very soft purple color and I had a dark purple sweater to wear with it.  I also wore my new black leather jacket.  When I got to Church, I had gotten mud on my shoes and stepped into the bathroom to wipe them off. As I turned to come out of the bathroom, I noticed something I had not noticed in the dressing room the day before.  The skirt was slit in the back to just above my knees; not bad, just not something I would have picked out.  I was a little embarrassed but had to make the best of it.  Believe it or not, no one noticed and I had several compliments on how nice I looked.  That afternoon I called TJ and asked him if he had noticed that little detail.  He laughed and said no, he just thought it looked nice on me.  I have to say this – he didn’t pick out a single piece of MOM clothes.

 

One more shopping story and I’ll close out this email.  We were shopping in Walmart in Elizabeth City on the way home from visiting my Mama.  We didn’t have a Walmart or Kmart on the beach then.  Naturally, we were in the toy section.  This was the year that just about every toy had a button somewhere on it that, when pressed, would make the toy sing, dance, etc.  TJ and Ray pressed a few of the buttons, but they would wait until that toy quit whatever it was doing before they would press the next button.  I decided to start pressing buttons, but I didn’t wait for one to finish before I pressed another.  I probably had 10 or so of those toys making some kind of noise.  I looked around for TJ and Ray and they had gone off and left me.  When I got up with them, several aisles away, I asked them what was wrong.  Can you believe this?  I had embarrassed them!!! TJ said he didn’t want anyone to know he was with me and Ray said “me too”.

 

I hope all of you have a great day.  I know I will see some of you at Church tonight.  Everyone stay safe.  God Bless You.

 

 

 

 

Brenda

boutlaw@carolinaregion.com

 

 

My daddy - the king of snorers!

Good morning everyone. I hope all of you are doing fine.

I am feeling so much better than yesterday. Got a good night’s rest last night; love the sound of rain on a metal roof. It reminds me of being a young girl and the house we lived in then.

When I was about 9 years old, my Daddy, Mama and I moved to live in a little house in the big city of Merry Hill. This was the first house my parents had ever owned. Well, come to think of it, I guess they owned the house that burned when I was about 3 years old; but after that time they had always rented. My parents were farmers, farming for other people for a share of the crops, and a house was always part of the deal.

The first house I was old enough to remember was near the Albemarle Sound; within walking distance. I don’t know how old I was when we moved there, but I started school while we were living there. There was a huge pasture between our house and a house owned by the Bond family. In that pasture were several cows, a couple of mules and one bull. I was scared to death of the bull. There were also lots of snakes in the area. John Bond came over to visit one afternoon; Mama and I were sitting on the back porch. She was shelling butter beans and I am pretty sure I was NOT! Daddy and John were standing by the front door of John’s truck. Suddenly, John calmly reached into his truck, removed the gun from the gun rack and shot right at the corner or the porch – about 3 feet from where I was sitting. He had killed a rattle snake that was almost as long as I was tall. Mama used to bring in garter snakes with clean clothes she had just taken off the clothes line. Mama got run out of the bathroom once by a snake. My sister Faye and her boyfriend were in the living room when Mama runs out of the bathroom, across the hall into her bedroom – all the time trying to get her “undies” pulled up. Boy, was her face red! So was Pat’s – my future brother-in-law. We used to walk down to the sound to take a bath at the end of a long day in the field. Now you have to remember I was very young and of course, I hadn’t been doing any work; but I loved to go along for the bath. Of course, we all had on swim suits and we took a real bath when we got home, but Daddy loved to go down to the sound and “rinse off” as he called it. We would bathe with the cows drinking right along beside us.

Daddy and Mama raised their own pigs and chickens. We had a really mean rooster and I remember going out to the pig pen one Sunday after Church. Daddy didn’t go that day; I guess one of the animals was sick or something because he usually did go to Church with us. I had won the Sunday School poster that day and I went to show it to Daddy. I still had on my Sunday dress, little white shoes and socks. As I started across the yard, the rooster attacked me. He didn’t really hurt me but he ruined my poster and tore my dress. I think we had him for supper one night that week.

I mentioned in an earlier paragraph about moving to Merry Hill. If you don’t know anything about Merry Hill, it was 3 stores, 1 Church, Post Office and school. Most of the people were farmers; a few worked in town. There were about 12 kids right there in Merry Hill and we went to Church and school together. The little house Mama and Daddy bought had only 4 rooms and an unfinished upstairs. There was no inside bathroom and I thought that the most terrible thing in the world. Eventually, my little bedroom was divided and a bathroom was added in one end. For a while I “lived” in the attic. Daddy had closed in the rooms with sheetrock and I had a small bedroom in one end and a small living room in the other end. I was the envy of all my friends, because I had my own apartment. It was heated by the chimney and had two very small windows I could open in the summer. My bedroom was over Mama and Daddy’s bedroom. I always played my stereo when I went to bed and as long as Daddy couldn’t hear the drums, it was okay with him.

I guess by now you are wondering about my subject line. As I was sitting here thinking about something to write, Haley jumped up on the couch beside me. She turned around and around about 15 times and finally made her bed and laid down. Within a few minutes, she was snoring and it reminded me of my Daddy. Boy, he could really snore! One night about 10:30, I decided to switch my bedroom to the other end of the house and move my living room over Mama and Daddy’s bedroom. The next morning Daddy asked me what in the world had I been doing? I laughed and told him I had to move my bed because I couldn’t keep the sheets on the bed. He didn’t understand what I meant. I told him he snored so hard that he sucked my sheets right off my bed so I had to move my bedroom. He got a pretty good laugh out of that.

I guess you can tell I was pretty close to my Daddy. My siblings are 10, 12 and 15 years older than me. By the time I was old enough to be of any real help, they were all gone from home and it fell on me to help Daddy in the fields. But, I had much rather been doing that than all the “girly” things at the house with Mama. I could plow the fields, put out fertilizer, knew how to work in a tobacco field and barn but I couldn’t boil water. I was quite a tomboy. My Daddy died my senior year of high school – 1966 – just 5 weeks before I graduated. I often think of all the things he missed in my life….my graduation, my baptism, my marriage, the birth of my two boys, so many things. But I know where he is and I am so thankful I have the guarantee of seeing him again one day.

I hope I haven’t reminisced too much in this email. I was a blessed child as I was growing up. I was loved by my parents and brother and sisters. I always had a nice place to live and all I needed. Not everyone was so fortunate. Like everyone else, I take those blessings for granted.

I hope all of you have a great week. Embrace the day and all it has to offer.

Brenda

A Lost Friend

I lost a friend recently-a “cyber friend”.  But it hurt, not as much as them dying, but I miss their friendship.  The reason I lost this friend?  I unfriended him on Facebook!  I know some of you make think this is silly.  I hated to take that action but I just couldn’t deal with the contents of his posts anymore.

 

First of all let me say, I think Facebook is a great thing.  My kids kept after me to join and I kept saying I didn’t want to get on it.  TJ finally tricked me into it by sending me a link to some of his pictures and by the time I got to the pictures, I had joined.  I have never been sorry.  It is a quick and convenient way of keeping up with friends and family and their lives.  But, sometimes it can be a hurtful tool. 

 

I learned, the hard way (as I often do) to be careful what you put in writing.  You should never put anything in writing that you don’t want someone else to read.  When I was in the eighth grade, I had a huge crush on a boy in my neighborhood and he liked me too.  We were both shy and just watched each other “from afar”.  Didn’t that sound dramatic?  One day the kids in the neighborhood were playing baseball; there weren’t enough kids to have two teams-we just split up and played.  I was at bat and I was a pretty good hitter.  The boy I liked, let’s call him John Doe, was playing shortstop.  As the pitcher threw the ball, John said “hit it right here to me honey”.  Needless to say, I never saw the ball cross home plate.  John had called me “honey”!!! Wow!!!  I did get a hit on the second pitch and made it to second base.  John’s face was red and so was mine.  Well, like most teen aged girls, I had a diary.  I put all my secrets and dreams in that little book.  My diary did not have a lock – first mistake.  I did not hide it; I just put it in my desk drawer – second mistake.  I didn’t believe my Sister would read it – third mistake.  Our family would all come to our house for Sunday dinner.  The conversation the next Sunday revolved around my comment in my diary…”Today, at the ball game, John Doe called me Honey”.  As my Sister told what she had read in my diary, my family had the gall to laugh.  LAUGH!!!! Didn’t they realize those were my private thoughts?  I was hurt and angry and I cried.  Then my Sister came to me and apologized.  That didn’t make it right. But, I learned a very valuable lesson from that episode.  I bought a diary with a lock, I hid it and I learned to write in code!!

 

I love to write and for many years have kept journals.  Most of the time at the end of the year, I destroy them.  Why…because they held my secret thoughts and dreams, things I didn’t or couldn’t share with anyone else.  Sometimes I write to vent. In my case, sometimes it was better to vent that way than to try to talk to whoever I might be upset with.  Since I have had a computer, I write a lot and after I finish, I read it again and then hit delete.  I have lifted the load by just putting the words down even though no one else reads them.

 

I said all that to say this.  I wish people would be very careful what they say on Facebook.  I wish they would be careful of their language.  You never know who will be reading it.  Your parents, your best friend, your children or grandchildren…you just never know.  I know this email is going to end up on Facebook as a note on my wall because it automatically goes to my blog which in turn is posted on my Facebook wall as a note.  But, that’s okay.  You see, I haven’t put anything in here that I don’t want someone to read.  I know people probably use Facebook to say things they wouldn’t say to someone’s face. They say they have freedom of speech and Facebook is a social networking venue so I can use it however I please.  That is true up to a point.  But I have known a few people that have been blocked because of their content.  The reason I un-friended my friend is because of his language and the sexual content of his jokes, videos, pictures, etc.  When I have been in his company, he has never acted the way he did on Facebook.  I was really surprised.  When I said something to him about it, he got kinda ugly with me and I decided that day to drop him.  I also don’t like the how people use Facebook to always complain.  They never have anything good to say…about anything.

 

I guess I will get off my soapbox now and get to work.  I was waiting on a client to drop off some work for me and he just came in.  I’m pretty sure I will have some unfriendly comments on Facebook about this email.  But, maybe I’ll claim “freedom of speech” like most of them do. It isn’t aimed at anyone particular but I guess if someone takes offense at it, it will probably be because I struck a nerve.

 

Take care everyone, try to stay warm and embrace the day and all it has to offer you.

 

Brenda

boutlaw@carolinaregion.com

 

 

apology

I hope all of you are doing well and staying warm.

 

I have been advised recently my emails are “too preachy and religious”.  If so, I apologize….only because the BIBLE says a woman shouldn’t preach!  That being said….I do not apologize for being a Christian or trying to share MY Christian experiences or views or for sometimes sharing something out of God’s Word!  That being said….you have the choice to continue receiving the emails or not.  All it takes is a short response from you asking me to remove you from the list; you don’t have to give me a reason and I won’t ask for one; I’ll just take you off.

 

Okay, here goes my opinion: I think the reason some people don’t want to hear something “preachy and religious” is because they aren’t a Christian and don’t want to hear anything about being one.  I had someone tell me that he didn’t think he could be a Christian because he didn’t think he could change all the things in his life that were wrong overnight.  Well, duh! I don’t believe God expects that.  If you truly give your heart to Him, He is going to show you the way to change the things.  I struggled with several things in my life after I became a Christian.  I still struggle with some things and when I die, I will still be struggling with some things.  They aren’t necessarily the same things I struggled with right after I got saved; but I battle the devil every day.  All of us do.  And if someone tells you that since they became a Christian, their life is perfect, no more battles with the devil, no more sin in their life…..know “it ain’t so”.  It would be awesome if my life did not contain any sin but it just isn’t happening. I fought sin all day yesterday… in several disguises.  Losing my temper was probably the worse because when I lost my temper, it put my mouth in full forward motion.  Then I had to call someone and tell them I was sorry for what I had said.  Yes, that hurt my testimony, but the man I was talking to is a Christian also and he understood.  None of us are perfect; God doesn’t expect us to be.  He has already forgiven me for every sin I have ever committed and for every sin I will ever commit.  Thankfully, he has removed my sins as far as the east is from the west, which is a distance that cannot be determined. 

 

Okay, that is my sermon for today….just joking.  I hope all of you know that I would not ntentionally offend any of you with anything I put in an email.  I had a friend tell me she wasn’t too happy with the email about Fat People because she thought I was talking about her.  I wasn’t and if you remember I made a comment in the email about looking in my own mirror. 

 

Have a great day and embrace all the day has to offer you.

 

 

 

Brenda

boutlaw@carolinaregion.com

 

 

Pay it Forward 2011

I have had a great Sunday.  I hope all of you have too. Church was very good today.  Didn’t have quite the same success with the van trips as I did last Sunday; but still good.  Even if we only pick up one child, that is one child that will hear something about the Lord. I had the extra blessing of teaching the preschool class for Robin.  I only had one child, Hayden, but she was a real blessing to me.

 

Tonight was our business meeting at Church.  We had it after the worship service. This is the night the budget is presented and voted on.  The meeting went well and I think everyone drew a sigh of relief.  I don’t know why we get “antsy” about business meetings, but we do.  Just before the meeting was over I made the comment that I am always amazed at how much our little Church does.  We have less than 20 members and a lot of them are elderly.  I’m including myself in that category.  A lot of our members are retired or on a fixed income.  We don’t have any debt and we support 24 missionaries through a program called Faith Promise.  This means that none of that support comes out of the working capital of our Church.  It is given in addition to our tithes.  So, again I have to say I am amazed at what God allows us to accomplish to further His Gospel.  I made the comment tonight that our blessings always, always, always outweigh our problems. Our “little Church on North End” is truly blessed.

 

Tonight during our prayer time, my mind began to wander.  I had already finished my prayer (we were having silent prayer) and was waiting for the Pastor to close the prayer.  I began to think about my subject listed above.  A few days ago a friend of mine put a post on FaceBook.  It was called Pay if Forward 2011 and this is how it works.  She put in her status that the first 3 people that commented on her status would receive something handmade from her during 2011.  The only rule to this is that those 3 people have to put the information in their status and do something for the first three people that comment, etc., etc. I hesitated, just a few minutes, before I commented on my friend’s status.  The only reason I hesitated is because she is a missionary and I felt like she was so busy that I didn’t want to add to her burden.  Then I realized that I might be depriving her of a blessing, so I commented and I was the FIRST!  I have no idea what I am going to receive from her but I am excited about it. Within an hour of my putting the post in my status, I had 3 comments.  Can you picture how many people’s lives will be touched by this if everyone “pays it forward” like they should?  By this time, Pastor had closed the prayer and we were ready for the message. 

 

On my way home tonight, I began to think about this again and was wondering how could I be a blessing to other people.  And this is what I decided.  I am going to challenge each of you to do something for somebody else this year.  Maybe once a month you could pick someone and do something special for them.  It doesn’t have to be something handmade, expensive or elaborate.  Just something to let that particular person know you were thinking of them. Run an errand for an elderly person, take someone to a doctor appointment and wait with them, babysit, offer to help them in their yard or house.  You get the picture.  I really don’t think people do too much of this today.  We are all so busy with our own lives and always seem to be in a hurry. 

 

You don’t have to make any response to me about what you decide to do IF you do decide to do anything.  Just pray about it and see what the Lord lays on your heart.  I promise you this…you might be a blessing to someone else; but I can guarantee you this…..you will absolutely get a blessing yourself.

 

I hope all of you have a great week. Remember to pray for someone.

 

Brenda

boutlaw@carolinaregion.com

 

 

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Barack Obama: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

John McCain: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

Hillary Clinton: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure - right from Day One! - that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

George W. Bush: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

Dick Cheney: Where is my gun?

Colin Powell: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

Bill Clinton: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

Al Gore: I invented the chicken.

John Kerry: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

Al Sharpton: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

Dr. Phil: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road...What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problem before adding new problems.

Oprah: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

Nancy Grace: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

Martha Stewart: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Did he cross it with a hare? Did he cross it with a bear? Did he check if the road was hot? I kinda doubt it, I think not!! Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told. Just one more think I have to say, it's been bugging me to this very day. If the Chicken is a she, why do we keep saying HE?

Ernest Hemingway: To die in the rain, alone.

Grandpa: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

Barbara Walters: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

John Lennon: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

Bill Gates: I have just released eChicken2010, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2010. This new platform is much more stable.

Albert Einstein: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

Colonel Sanders: Did I miss one?

Sent to me by a friend.

The Real Truth About Growing Old

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie (or ice cream), or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 and 70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love....I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be . And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it).

This is not original. It came to me through an email and I just wanted to share it.