I lost a friend recently-a “cyber friend”. But it hurt, not as much as them dying, but I miss their friendship. The reason I lost this friend? I unfriended him on Facebook! I know some of you make think this is silly. I hated to take that action but I just couldn’t deal with the contents of his posts anymore.
First of all let me say, I think Facebook is a great thing. My kids kept after me to join and I kept saying I didn’t want to get on it. TJ finally tricked me into it by sending me a link to some of his pictures and by the time I got to the pictures, I had joined. I have never been sorry. It is a quick and convenient way of keeping up with friends and family and their lives. But, sometimes it can be a hurtful tool.
I learned, the hard way (as I often do) to be careful what you put in writing. You should never put anything in writing that you don’t want someone else to read. When I was in the eighth grade, I had a huge crush on a boy in my neighborhood and he liked me too. We were both shy and just watched each other “from afar”. Didn’t that sound dramatic? One day the kids in the neighborhood were playing baseball; there weren’t enough kids to have two teams-we just split up and played. I was at bat and I was a pretty good hitter. The boy I liked, let’s call him John Doe, was playing shortstop. As the pitcher threw the ball, John said “hit it right here to me honey”. Needless to say, I never saw the ball cross home plate. John had called me “honey”!!! Wow!!! I did get a hit on the second pitch and made it to second base. John’s face was red and so was mine. Well, like most teen aged girls, I had a diary. I put all my secrets and dreams in that little book. My diary did not have a lock – first mistake. I did not hide it; I just put it in my desk drawer – second mistake. I didn’t believe my Sister would read it – third mistake. Our family would all come to our house for Sunday dinner. The conversation the next Sunday revolved around my comment in my diary…”Today, at the ball game, John Doe called me Honey”. As my Sister told what she had read in my diary, my family had the gall to laugh. LAUGH!!!! Didn’t they realize those were my private thoughts? I was hurt and angry and I cried. Then my Sister came to me and apologized. That didn’t make it right. But, I learned a very valuable lesson from that episode. I bought a diary with a lock, I hid it and I learned to write in code!!
I love to write and for many years have kept journals. Most of the time at the end of the year, I destroy them. Why…because they held my secret thoughts and dreams, things I didn’t or couldn’t share with anyone else. Sometimes I write to vent. In my case, sometimes it was better to vent that way than to try to talk to whoever I might be upset with. Since I have had a computer, I write a lot and after I finish, I read it again and then hit delete. I have lifted the load by just putting the words down even though no one else reads them.
I said all that to say this. I wish people would be very careful what they say on Facebook. I wish they would be careful of their language. You never know who will be reading it. Your parents, your best friend, your children or grandchildren…you just never know. I know this email is going to end up on Facebook as a note on my wall because it automatically goes to my blog which in turn is posted on my Facebook wall as a note. But, that’s okay. You see, I haven’t put anything in here that I don’t want someone to read. I know people probably use Facebook to say things they wouldn’t say to someone’s face. They say they have freedom of speech and Facebook is a social networking venue so I can use it however I please. That is true up to a point. But I have known a few people that have been blocked because of their content. The reason I un-friended my friend is because of his language and the sexual content of his jokes, videos, pictures, etc. When I have been in his company, he has never acted the way he did on Facebook. I was really surprised. When I said something to him about it, he got kinda ugly with me and I decided that day to drop him. I also don’t like the how people use Facebook to always complain. They never have anything good to say…about anything.
I guess I will get off my soapbox now and get to work. I was waiting on a client to drop off some work for me and he just came in. I’m pretty sure I will have some unfriendly comments on Facebook about this email. But, maybe I’ll claim “freedom of speech” like most of them do. It isn’t aimed at anyone particular but I guess if someone takes offense at it, it will probably be because I struck a nerve.
Take care everyone, try to stay warm and embrace the day and all it has to offer you.
Brenda
boutlaw@carolinaregion.com
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